Actual quotes from a recent meeting*
Person A: “So we’re going to put this new app in the cloud”
Person B: “Hang on, what does that even mean?”
Person A: “Well, um, it’s going to be spread out across multiple datacenters”
Person C: (someone makes a face) – “But all of our apps are distributed across our data centers”
Person A: “Yes, but this one is going to be in the cloud”
Me: “The cloud is a real thing? I thought it was just a marketing term for the techno-rabble; client-server sort of pre-dates the invention of the Internets”**
Person D: “Markham, “The Cloud” means that it’s going to be running on (technology platform I won’t name so I can maintain some sort of anonymity)”
Me: “So being in the cloud is largely an arbitrary distinction based on it running on ****?”
Person D: “Well, but, **** is the future”
Person B: “So can we say that instead of saying “in the cloud”?”
Person A: “fine”
In case you can’t read the hidden subtext, the point is that “cloud computing” is for the most part a bullshit marketing term, which a large subset of the population believes is a real thing.
*For the record I’m paraphrasing and leaving out proprietary type stuff I shouldn’t be blogging about, beyond that, this is an actual conversation from work. Fun right?
**I really do talk like this at work, 90% of the things I say in meeting are either various levels of biting sarcasm or (per my boss) that thing I do when I ignore everyone’s BS and tell everyone what we’re going to do next/articulate what people actually want. I deny that the latter ever happens, as I’d hate for people to think I actually bring value to the table, I’m a consultant I can’t have that sort of vile reputation following me about.